Kik Profile – kiarabernadette

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Here’s my kik : kiarabernadette 😉

Kiara

That is my confirmation name. I picked it yesterday. Yes, i actually made my mind! Thanks God! Lol.

So, let’s talk about Saint Kiara 🙂

 First of all, she is an Irish. She is a disciple of St. Fintan Munnu Kiara, lived near Nenagh, in Tipperary, Ireland. She is also known as Saint Cera of Ireland (alternately Chera, Chier, Ciara, Cyra, Kiara, Cier, Ciar). So when you google it, probably you will find Cera instead of Kiara. This is the information i got from here.

Kiara was the daughter of Duibhre (or Dubreus) reportedly in the blood line of the kings of Connor (or Conaire). She, along with 5 other virgins asked Saint Fintan Munnu for a place to serve God. He and his monks gave the women their abbey in Heli (or Hele). Heli may have been in County Westmeath. He blessed Kiara, and instructed her to name the place after St. Telle who had given three jubilations in the plain of Miodhluachra that day.

St. Kiara eventually returned to her own province and founded another monastery, Killchree, which she governed until her death in 679. The later Franciscan Kilcrea Friary stands about a mile west of where her monastery stood, and claims to have taken its name, Kilcrea, in her honor: “Kilcrea (Cill Chre) means the Cell of Cere, Ciara, Cera or Cyra.”

St. Kiara’s feast day is October 16, and a festival on January 5 also commemorated her. Both dates are reported to have been the day of her death. Statements also show December 15.

Anyway, i’m so glad i found my confirmation name 🙂 So from now on, you can just call me Kiara 😀

Sad For No Reason

I have been feeling mellow since yesterday night. Dunno why. I had a great weekend, but now i suddenly feel mellow and sad and lonely. And this feeling sucks. Period. And i don’t know how to get over it. I’ve tried watching movies, listening to music, bla bla bla, but nothing helps so far. And for now i feel very vulnerable.

Oh please, don’t break me. Not now.

What’s NEW about Me?

Ya’ll can read the title. So basically its totally a random post.

What’s new?

First, i just finish watching a korean tv drama serial, whatever you call it, Dream High. Oh, its actually my boyfriend who likes it first, then i try to watch it. Who knows the story could be stunning and hypnotized me? Yeah, seriously, it’s about a girl named Hye-Mi, who actually wants to be a clasiccal singer, but then her father runs off, leaving her with her sister a huge debt (its kinda cliche at first, i admit). Then the debt collector offers her a contract, that she must enter Kirin Art High School so she could make a debut as a pop singer and pay her debt. It’s like a musical drama, you know. But not that boring, cuz actually what’s interesting is on the character, Hye-Mi is actually not a type of an usual main character. She is cold, have stone expression, cruel sometimes, well, she suits on antagonist perfectly. But yet she is the main character!

This is the first drama, who has no “bad person” on it. Every character, has it bad and good side. Like human life. Not entirely bad, and not entirely good. That’s what  i love about this drama. Also, many interesting character besides Hye-Mi. There are Pil Sook, a fat girl, who makes 200 days diet plan, then succeed, but after that she realized that she doesn’t mind being fat at all. Then Sam Dong, my favorite boy character. He is a suburban boy, has a nice voice, and he loves Hye-Mi with all his heart. I mean it. It’s so nice that he don’t care if Hye-Mi is not her gf, as long as she stays on his side. Oh, i could talking about Sam Dong all day. But not now. Lol.

And the ending, it’s special. Cuz everyone has happy ending here. A lot of people says that the ending is unexpected and not satisfied with it. But for me, it’s very satisfying and the story went just exactly like I want it. Haha. And don’t forget about the songs! There are so much beautiful songs in this drama.

Then talking korean drama, i never expected this, but it seems like i’m kinda into korean music now. Which is actually kinda sucks cuz I never know what the meaning of the song, unless there are some english on the song. But hey, who knows it could be a nice music to listen even when you don’t know the meaning? Music is however a universal language  i guess. And now i’m starting to listen to 2NE1, Girls Generation (aka SNSD), T-ara, ect. I used to tease my boyfriend cuz he likes K Pop, who knows i’m into it to now? Karma.

Another music, i just finished download the ex M2M member albums. Yeah, i mean Marit Larsen and Marion Raven. Who knows they changed a lot? M2M was a type of sweet pop music, right? And now Marit (who i always considered a boyish one, compared to Marion) has a very catcy childish pop type of songs. When on the other side Marion has an album that very “Avril”, the rocks song. That’s surprising.

(Am i the one who download the Marion and Marit albums now when they released their albums like, 4 years ago? Yeah, i know. But it’s better late than never)

Another update about me, well, i was planning to wake up a little bit early and having some exercise. Not the heavy ones, but just walking around the blocks. But so far, no luck. I still waking up late. Ugh, i really need to sleep early. Then maybe, just maybe, i would be able to wake up early. Yeah, i always say that to myself, but if you haven’t know, i have a sickness, that is always prevent me. And its called laziness. Duh.

Final words, i’m so glad it’s weekend now, so i will going home early from work tomorrow and a day off on sunday. Yay!

Sux at Socializing

That’s the truth people.

I sucks at socializing.

Honestly.

For example, when all my friends are chatting, when i’m not in the mood i tend to be busy with myself. Either playing games on my phone or reading novel or texting my boyfriend. And when i meet someone new, i just confused on what topic to talk about (this happens a lot with older people!) It just that it seems very hard to find someone that “clicks” me well.

So its kinda amazed me when i find someone who could chat for hours without losing topics. Oh, yeah, sometimes i have a chat buddy like that too, but to count them.. hmm.. not too much. When i feel like i don’t wanna talk, i won’t talk. That’s it. No wonder they call me weirdo sometimes.

Same thing happens on online social network. Moba Mingle was my favorite. There are times i’m trying to be popular there (seriously!) but then i get tired from updating the blog or commenting on forum every minutes. So most of the time i’m just a wall flower. Not that i complain tho.

That’s why i was curious about what makes me think i’m a sanguine? Okay, sometimes when i’m happy i’m not afraid to tell other people i’m happy. I’ll jump around the room. And when i’m sad i will just cry out loud in front of people. But i remember, when i was a kid, i would run away and hide when a stranger come to my house. Honestly up until now i don’t know why i’m doing that. I tend to think a lot too. But then my sanguine side takes over and just let anything flow. So maybe i’m melancholic. Maybe i’m sanguine. Or maybe i just have a bipolar moods.

Who knows.

Model! For a Day

The other day one of my friend asked me whether i want to be a model, and i said, that sounds fun, OK. So two weeks ago i become a model for a day. Haha. I changed clothes three times, and basically just do hundreds pose. Its not easy, i told you. If you think becoming a model is easy, with all the pretty things and nice clothes and all, nah, its more tiring than doing an event organizer job (my other part time job).

There was a time where i once wanted to be a model. Yeah, but frankly, back at those year in high school i don’t have enough confidence. I think i was ugly. Lol. And now, to become a model? Haha, who am i kidding? I gained weight lately, and it’s pretty sad. Not that i said i am fat, but yes it is if you see me about two years ago. All the people that don’t meet me for a long time always said “Gosh, you’re pretty fat now!”

So no no for a model right now. lol. doing diet is just too hard for me. For real, i hate sport. The only sport i can afford is maybe just a little walk and dancing around my room. Other than that? Nah. And for diet? Oh please, i love to eat. I love meat. I love seafood. I love chocolate and ice cream. Its just very hard to not eat those things. Normally, when I wanted to diet, it just last for 3 days, top. Like my boyfriend always said, you only live once. So why getting so confused about what you should eat and what you should not? Exactly. Right now, i’m eating what i want to eat. Oh i keep track of what i eat too. Count the calories, but that doesn’t stop me from eating. I just wanna know the limit.

Dear, enough with this diet talking. And these are some picture taken while i’m “modelling” two weeks ago.

I Think I Am…

So we’re gonna talking about religions now. I always been a protestant, since i was born. but lately, i went to catholic, and i got interested in it. it surprised me i must say, the way they live their faith. I’m not gonna lie that i go to catholic at the first place is because my bf is a catholic. But he never asked me to be a catholic. Thats why i want to make sure that if i want to be a catholic, i do it on my own, not because somebody.

To be exact, the first time i got interested in that is when a pastor said to me that every religion, if you go deeper on that, you will still find Christ in there. So i was like oh.. i want to experience God myself. Not just because what my parents religion are. Not just because i was told to do so. I wanted to know Him, by myself.

So right now, i haven’t really decided yet. I want to learn about this first, and make up my mind until i’m pretty sure. But anyway, i was looking for a saint name on web yesterday, you know, when you got baptized, you have to choose a name, for now i pretty like Angela, Regina, or Joanne D’arc. Haha. Yes, she was a saint~!

What do you think?

Dear Diary

I just want to share that these past few days has been hard for me. It’s actually funny when you think that your life go as smooth as you want them, there always troubles coming up, waiting there right in the corner.

It started at work, where i have a pregnant friend, soon she would take her birth days off (if you know what i mean) and won’t go to work for 3 months.

So, another friend of mine told me, that my boss would prefer me who pregnant, than her.

Pause.

Is that actually means, that he prefer me who not going to work than her? I was like, oh, so i’m not THAT important to him (my boss). Well, its likely to say that my pregnant friend, do not have more difficult job than me, but, i have other ppl who can do my job if i’m not there. Unlike her. She is the only one who could do her job.

So i’m trying to calm myself and says to myself that it is the actual reason, or that my boss must be joking.

But i admit, i did cry a bit that day. Okay, a lot. Heck, i was on PMS and its just seems that my tears falls like a waterfall. Whatever.

I was trying to remember that my boss is a nice guy. I swear he is. He cared about his employees. He is the one who pays my college for God’s sake!

So the next day after that, which is two days ago, i tried to talk to him. I was saying that if he didn’t like my job, he better tell me himself so i could do something to improve my work.

He was surprised when i told him all my story, yeah i supposed he mostly surprised cuz suddenly i cried in front of him like a baby. Uh, i hate why am i soooooooo easy to cry lately?!

He calmed me down, and said that the only reason he said that to my friend is because he was worry about my health. So, its like this, if my pregnant friend do not go to work, he needs to find someone else to do her job cuz he can’t make me work overtime cuz he worried i might get sick. Yes, i admit, that i’m pretty lame. I get sick easily, mostly when i’m too tired.

And he said its unwise that my friend told me that, cuz she didn’t suppose to tell me that. Also that he is unwise to compared me to my friend like that. In a cruel way. And oh geez, he was caress me!

Its like the most sweet thing he ever do to me! He treated me like his sister and saying that he cares a lot about his employees, include me. And he said if there’s anything wrong with my work, he will tell me himself.

I was so relieve, that i cry again on my way home (lame..)

So, right now i’m thankful of my life. Having a nice job, nice family, i can continue my study, i have a very nice bf, what a girl could ask for more?

I know there will be more obstacles in the future, but heck, i’ll survive just fine.

At least that what i told to my self.

Haha.

I Dislike Me

Right now, i’m so dislike me. No, i wouldn’t say hate. It’s too cruel for me.

Why?

I dislike me cuz i being this envious about the other.

The other who i think has a nicer life than me.

Friends who archives success, working and living outside their hometown, while here i am, still stuck here.

I envy them, how they pursue their dreams.

Thats the next thing i dislike about me now.

I dislike how i forget my dreams.

How i forgot how nice it is to dream.

I used to dream to be a writer.

I used to dream to be a mangaka.

I used to dream high.

But now i’m here, don’t have time to write or draw.

I can’t remember the last time i’m trying to write a story.

I miss it.

Miss the old me.

So full of dreams, thinking that i could be whatever i wanna be.

Oh, i may not have decent confident back then, but i dare to dream.

Now, when i think i live the life i wanted,

I realize…

I lost my dream.

You R Wad U Eat

Uh – oh, i have a major acne problem right now. And that is not really a new thing, cuz i tend to have acne when im on PMS. But this month, it gets worse. A lot.

So, a friend suggested me to not eat fat. Sigh, that means no chocolate, right? And she also told me that i need to get rid of oily food, and red meats. But, but thats my favorite! Not fair 😦 And then she said chicken is not good, FYI i always think that chicken is a white meat cuz its white! LOL. But it turned out that chicken is a red meats, but however, beef are better than chicken cuz it has less calories. Now it really surprised me. I never think of it, i thought beef are more cruel in calories than chicken. But she assure me that what she meant by white meats is fish. Oh okay, i thought, i kinda like fish.

But then, i think, i always wanted to be more healthy, like, have a good eat style. How can i acquire it if i never care of what i eat? So, this is me, having a new goals (again) to have a healthy eat style. Means, no chocs, no oil, no red meats, but more veggies, more fruits, and eat boiled or steamed food instead.

Wish me luck, guys.

At least, please please please let me get rid of this acne.

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